Today is my 500th day in Armenia (officially at
least – I am not subtracting the days I spent in Tbilisi this year). As I am obsessive about time markers, I took
this as another opportunity to reflect on my experience to date.
While it is too early to summarize what I think of my
accomplishments here (I will do that when I am finished next year) some things have
changed since I arrived that are worth noting and I will also take the
opportunity to update some of the things I have written about in earlier posts.
In my first post, I answered some commonly asked questions so
I will revisit those (modified in some cases since the passage of time has
rendered some moot).
Am I happy? The answer to that depends on the day. I have days that I just want to stay inside
my apartment, but those are very infrequent. I have days when I need a mental
health break from everything and sit in the park and read or hang out with
other volunteers. But mostly I am still
happy.
The honeymoon period here ended long ago but I am not
itching to go home. It is easy to get
frustrated (as I have and other volunteers tell me they have also). As you get settled into your assignment, get
involved in secondary projects and go about living your day-to-day life, you have
to acknowledge that you often don’t have the answer that people want, that they
may not want what you want to give them, and that you may never get accustomed
to why things are the way they are. I am not sure if it is the overall slower pace of life, getting more comfortable with my expectations here or what, but I am getting better at letting it go and not letting it drive me crazy. There is only so much I can do.
It also helps to realize that, no
matter how hard you try, you will always be an outsider who does not have the
history of the people you encounter daily – as much as I read or hear from people,
I will never know what it was like to live in a Soviet regime, live through an
earthquake or not be sure whether I can afford dinner or heat for my family. As long as I accept that, I will probably
be fine. I chastise myself when I make a
cultural error and try to rectify it, but knowing that I get a pass because I
am a foreigner makes it easier.
I still get “memory flashes” about things and places in New
York and they are more frequent now. But,
similar to how I described them before, they are like things I am looking forward
to seeing again as opposed to things I am homesick for.
Am I feeling OK? The answer is most of the time. I have gotten colds that are no worse than I
normally get in New York - they seem to last less time but they tend to make me more
tired. I had the flu in January and am
half expecting it again following my mandatory flu shot next month. I have occasional GI problems, but much less
often and severe than some of my fellow volunteers (I can count on one hand how
often I have had unfiltered water and I think that is part of the
reason). I am exercising regularly and
usually sleep well so no worries in this area.
How is life living
alone in a strange place? [The question
was originally about life with my host family].
It has been great although the comments I get occasionally remind me of
how odd it is for people to see me live alone.
I am often asked who cleans my house (I do), who cooks my food (I do),
who washes my clothes (I do). A coworker
recently suggested that some of the volunteers from my work site (almost all
are female) come over and clean for me.
The lady who owns a store I frequent was astonished when I said I was
going to bake something. Upon entering
my apartment once, my landlady remarked about how clean it is, the surprise
evident in her voice. Since partaking in
the Vardevar water fights, I have developed a fan club of
kids in the neighborhood. My landlady
cautioned me after seeing me talking to some “bad men” on the corner. Most of my neighboring mothers and
grandmothers say hello to me when I walk past now. It seems they are seeing me as a neighbor
now.
What is my typical
day? I get up between 6:30 and 7:30
and do my morning exercises. I visit my
usual web sites and have breakfast (lots of eggs and oatmeal). Assuming the water pressure is sufficient, I
take showers most every day (and if not, I can get by without for a day or two). I work at my primary site from 10 until 1 and
have lunch then. I work on other projects in the afternoon (English club,
Business English class, various other things such as HIV training seminars,
editing English translations, reviewing grant proposals, tourism plans, helping
other volunteers with grant proposals, etc, etc, etc). Several days a week I go to my gym and or
shopping for food. I cook dinner
somewhere between 6 and 8 and occasionally go out to eat or to another
volunteer’s house for a group dinner. I
read, watch movies or write most nights until 11:30 or so. On Saturdays I go on long walks while the
weather permits and go to Yerevan maybe one weekend a month. On some Sundays I go to a movie club (movies
dubbed into Russian, discussion in Armenian so I only go when I have seen the
movie before).
Nothing overly exciting but not boring either.
How is the food? Still good although different now. As I detailed a few posts back, I am cooking
a lot more and enjoying the experience but, as a result, I am not having as
much Armenian food as I used to. I still
like dolma but don’t imagine myself making it, and I am not unhappy to no
longer eat hot dogs and eggs for breakfast.
I am surprising myself with how much less meat I am eating and doing fine
without it. I have by no means become a
vegetarian (I still love eating khorovats and any time I grab something quick
it is normally a meat kebab or shawarma) but something like buckwheat can be very
tasty and filling, as can vegetable soups and pizza. While meat is pretty expensive given our
living allowances, the cost is not a factor as much as realizing I like these
other things that are full of protein and pretty tasty.
As far as cooking goes, my first attempts at bread were
successful and I will start branching out to flavor it differently. And there are a lot of other recipes I am anxious to try (red wine chocolate cake? why not?)
Unlike the first few months I was here, I don’t eat candy as
much (maybe one Snickers every two or three weeks instead of daily), but I am
baking sometimes so polishing off a plate of cookies is not unheard of. I am back to rarely drinking soda but my
alcohol consumption is more than in Solak (although still down from New York).
How is the language
coming? At this point I have to say
that it has plateaued but mostly for my lack of studying. After my tutor got too busy to work with me
last spring, I have not hired another and have tailed off on my
self-studying.
Having said that, I can definitely speak better than I did
last year and moved up a notch when we had our language proficiency tests in
July. I can carry on a conversation and often surprise people who don’t expect
me to be able to speak any Armenian. I try to learn a few new
words every week and absorb words by examining how they are constructed of
parts that I already know and I have gotten pretty good at writing emails in transliterated Armenian. But
Armenians tend to speak very quickly and my listening comprehension is not
really good enough to follow what is going on in a meeting, I still struggle
with the longer words and the letters can still trip me up when I try to read
something (again, especially the long ones of which there are plenty).
I am pretty sure that I have not made any colossal blunders lately
as I know I did early on, and have avoided some others that I have heard about
(not too surprising, for example, when the words for “ice cream” and “condom” are very
similar). But one thing that I fail to
understand is how sometimes people don’t understand when I do mispronounce something
but the context would clearly indicate what I mean. As an example, the words for “cold”, “mountain”
and “tree” sound very similar, but one would think
that if I ask for a “tree beer” when pointing at beer bottles, it should be obvious
that I am asking for a cold one.
Without having grown up with the language, I don’t know to what extent context plays a part in how people process what they hear since I am told
that the words in a sentence can be moved around without changing the
meaning. It may be one of the things that
you need years to understand the subtleties of, but it is hard to motivate
myself to pursue that knowing that I may never speak the language again after I
leave next year.
What is Gyumri like?
I have written at length about different aspects of Gyumri but I would
summarize it as a small town dressed up like a city. By that I mean that the nights are very
quiet, everyone seems to know everyone else and it is a very conservative
place. As I have said many times,
Armenia strikes me as a pretty easy place to be sent with Peace Corps and
Gyumri is a pretty easy place to be sent in Armenia.
So what else is new? Beyond revisiting the first post, here are a few updates
to other things I have written about:
- I am back to doing laundry by hand as my washing machine has proved much more work than it is worth in washing things. I use the spinner part to get clothes ready for drying but the washing part is in the bathtub.
- I never made it to my Solak host brother’s party when he returned from the army as I was in the middle of the Border 2 Border walk in June. Also, one member of my Gyumri host family moved to Russia and his brother won’t go in until at least next year since the draft age was increased, so I still haven’t been to an army party yet. Still no wedding either but I hope to experience Nor Tari this coming year.
- I now feel very comfortable getting around the country by public transportation although recent events have made it more difficult. In an effort to improve the quality of life in Yerevan, the mayor abruptly changed the locations of most inter-city marshutnis [I now need to go to the “central” bus station which is anything but central]. At the same time the subway fare doubled.
Recently, there have been many
days when there are no marshutnis running into Yerevan (and sometimes none
leaving). I am sure it is a mere
coincidence that these days coincide with rallies that have been taking place
to protest the governing party, since I can’t imagine anyone trying to
undermine a protest by making it more difficult for people to attend or implying
that the opposition parties are making life less convenient for ordinary
citizens….
I finally made it to the southern
part of the country and the marshutni rides were quite an experience. The region is beautiful and I tried to get a
look at the scenery while also reading my book, but the roads are so bumpy and
twisty that I also had to keep an eye on the kid next to me as his father had
fashioned a vomit bag for him just in case (luckily it wasn’t needed).
- I still have maddening conversations with women about their role in society and how they think men are more intelligent than they are. It says a lot about the value placed on women when the Council of Europe raises an alarm about the rates of male and female births and starts to investigate whether selective abortions are taking place.
- I have had conversations with people about the earthquake and the stories are hard to imagine. One man was trapped for 21 hours until he was rescued. A woman I know was in school and described how frantic her mother was trying to find her. I heard a story about people coming from Yerevan to loot. And there are still something like 1,300 families waiting for permanent homes.
Today I was also asked about September
11 for the first time by an Armenian. I
have noticed that some people here are conspiracy theorists about various
things but I was surprised when one guy asked me if Bush had arranged the
attacks and whether bombs in the base of the towers really caused their
collapse. I explained what I know and he responded "Why would Bin Laden want to do that?". He then tried to convince me that Bin Laden was killed in Libya.
- I still hate how people treat dogs here but I must admit I now readily threaten a dog that is threatening me. Unlike watchdogs I am accustomed to, I notice that many dogs here sit quietly and watch you pass and then make a move to attack after you have passed. I still love dogs and don’t imagine myself harming one, but neither do I imagine myself going through another series of rabies shots.
So what now? For me, this is now an odd point in the service period. The
new group is still getting settled in, but most of my group will leave Armenia
in nine or ten months. I still have a
second winter ahead of me but am starting to think about what I will do next
summer. I am comfortable with how to
approach projects but have to start considering which of the new volunteers can
take over for me if one needs to go on beyond next year. I acquired a bunch of things from the
volunteers who just left but am at the point where I don’t want to acquire
anything else that can’t be worn, eaten or otherwise used up as I would have to
get rid of it when I go.
Many former volunteers have told me that the second year in
Peace Corps goes much faster than the first.
I have gotten used to that phenomenon over the years as I have gotten
older but already sense that the next ten months will speed past more than
usual.
The trick will be to keep an eye on the time to make sure I am not writing a post about all I didn't get done.
